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Why can’t she be like Chanda?

March 13, 2019

newspaper

It is usually when I am back from my morning walk, sitting and reading the newspaper with my morning cuppa that she barges in with, ‘hey, how is the security guard’s mother?’ She is referring to the security guard at my office, whose mother is afflicted with cancer and had been admitted in the hospital. Or ‘Is the HR guy harassing his junior? Can’t she take it up with anyone?’ Or, ‘Is that Finance guy still having an affair with the intern? Does his wife know? You said she worked in the Plant, didn’t you? She surely must have got wind of it now.’  Or, ‘Did, whatshisname, the Marketing guy, go see the girl? He will be, what 34, 35, this June nah? What does he want actually?’ Or, ‘Is that Purchase chap, still making money in the side? Is there no way for anyone to find out? I think, it must be traveling all the way up.’  The great mumbler that I am, I usually mumble something, engrossed totally in the newspaper.

All this reveals one thing, my penchant for office gossip. But how the hell did she get to know all these? I am not much of a talker, really. There is no way I could have disclosed all this to her, in my right mind. And then it hit me. It is the newspaper. No, no, no, I didn’t mean all these were reported in the newspaper. In spite of all the news in the paper being already available in the many apps on my hand phone, some of them a day earlier, I still need my daily fix of the newspaper. If for some reason the newspaper is not available on a day, my hands would start to tremble. Such is the addiction. It is with the aid of this intoxicant that she had been able to elicit all intelligence, present and past.

There is more to this than meets the ears. I have found myself asking our maid, how her daughter’s first board exam had been. About her husband’s health after his typhoid episode. On both occasions it had caught both of us in surprise. There was a time when I was talking to the aunty next door, whom, for the record, I get to meet sparingly, complimented her on her dal makhani recipe; and congratulated the boy living on the first floor for winning the chess tournament. I also knew that an employee in the salon that my wife patronizes is planning to start a parlour on her own. I had absolutely no idea how I had known all this, till I cottoned on to the fact that all these inputs were fed into my ears by my wife, just when I was nodding off to the land of nod. Another strategic time, when these tidbits are seeded into the sub conscious and  ready to spring up when the appropriate time came up.

This is all so frighteningly eerie. Why the hell can’t she be like Chanda? My wife, that is. Or why shouldn’t I be like Deepak. Yeah, the Kochhars is about whom I talking about. It transpires that Deepak Kochhar is absolutely clueless about what his wife Chanda Kochhar was up to, in her bank and she was equally unaware what her husband does. For a living.  I know I am stretching it a bit, but as days goes by this will what we will come to know of them I am pretty certain. Much like the movie True Lies (I really like the tagline of that movie ‘When he said I do, he never said what he did’). We have  to give it to the Kochhars for showing us the way to be successful. More importantly a way for a successful marriage.

PS: This post was triggered by a news item in today’s issue of the Times of India Chennai edition which reported that Chanda Kochhar had told ED officials that she didn’t know that her husband was doing business with Videocon group and that Deepak Kochhar did not know that Chanda’s bank had given loans to Videocon. Yeah, you can say it all started with the newspaper addiction.
Image courtesy: Getmages

3 Comments leave one →
  1. svenkataramana1 permalink
    March 14, 2019 18:33

    Baavundi sir..
    I remember of asking you, the meaning of this sentence, when we were worked together.. that was the time when true lies released.”When he said I do, he never said what he did”..& you explained..
    Now it’s responsibility of our authorities to
    beleive kochhars & prove to us that they are really innocents & true couple.. I am eagerly waiting for that moment.

    Thank you Ramana

  2. March 22, 2019 09:12

    I remember reading this and leaving a comment. Looks like it didn’t publish 🙂

    I really like how you wind about and get to the point. Very entertaining!

    Even with all the winding i hardly reach 500 words. Imagine if I don’t go winding, The post will end up as a foot note 😀

  3. March 23, 2019 09:54

    The title of this piece intrigued me
    The first three paras then amused me
    The connection eluded
    Till elucidated
    Sub-conscious garnering of gossip is the key!

    😀

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