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Stastically Significant

August 23, 2014

Statistics says:

  • 50% of the people born under the zodiac sign of Gemini think they are good, while the other 50% think they are hopeless and 100% of them keep changing their opinion every 2 minutes. There is an uncanny similarity to people born on a Wednesday, 50% of them are full of woe and the other 50 are woeful and they keep alternating between these two.
  • 4% of fathers who have teen-aged sons die of heart attacks, 3.8% from colon cancer, 2% from Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia and the rest die as paupers.
  • 28% of Malayalis living in another state/country despise Malayalis living in Kerala and the rest hate humankind as a whole.
  • 68% of Marketing personnel are good with numbers, about 18% are very good in lateral thinking, 14% are good in astronomy and visualizing astronomical numbers without batting their eyelids, 2 % are good in marketing and…… oops this is adding up to more than 100%.
  • It was found that 36% of the Indians, who travel abroad are loathe to coming back to India, some 46% of them are in a hurry to come back, as they cannot do all the nonsense they have been doing in their country and unable to handle all the orderliness, the remaining manage to do all the nonsense that they have been doing in India, in the countries that they have gone visiting.
  • 58% of men over 50 spend 46% of their waking time watching pornography, 13% of them indulge in rape, 16.23% have admitted that they go to parks and other public places to ogle at the young things who come there for jogging , shopping etc. and the rest wonder when they lost their libido.
  • 33% of people associated with the pharmaceutical industry indulge in self-medication, 33% of them try their medication on their hapless neighbours, another 33% try to show off and scare their friends and relatives with fancy sounding disease names such as Zollinger- Ellison syndrome or Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis (incidentally the longest word in English) when they so much as fart or sneeze. They are still on the look-out for the other 1%.
    I am a 52 year old Indian, born on the 13th of June, a Wednesday in a small village in Kerala, residing presently in Chennai for the last 11 years, with my 2 sons, while working in a pharmaceutical company as a marketing man, and having have to travel abroad frequently. I have never been approached by anybody doing a survey in all the years I have been alive. That is how statistically significant I am.

P.S. There is a recent survey that says that 97.34% of people who share their names with that of Lord Krishna, like Kesavan, Muralitharan, Madhusudhan, Mohan, Shyamsundar, Gopal, Lakshminarayanan, Narayanan, Anand, Madhavan, Arvind, Venugopal and of course Govind are as manipulative as the Lord himself and are capable of making things up. I can definitely relate to that. Incidentally all the names mentioned, happen to be names of my friends on FB. They didn’t say birds of a feather flock together for nothing..



Cartton courtesy:

3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 23, 2014 20:07

    There are three degrees of falsehood: Lies, Utter Lies, Statistics.

  2. August 25, 2014 23:35

    Kinda figures. All of those figures you mention. Not that I wondered about the veracity about those figures. That’s what statistics does to you. Figures matter. Bottom line. 🙂
    Good to read from you again. Even if it be a bunch of figures. Always ogle-worthy. Here ie. 😛

  3. Ramsundar permalink
    January 12, 2015 19:34

    Hahaha….. You belong to the statistically significant 110.323 % among 100% of my friends who is right 200%. These numbers are accurate and hence not made up.

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