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And The Award Goes to…..

September 23, 2010

A  High profile committee has recommended that the Bharat Ratna be conferred on Suresh Kalmadi. The committee came to this unanimous decision based on his services to the nation. I have reliable sources which point that the entire government had backed Suresh Kalmadi’s candidature. When contacted this is what the various Ministries had to say in support of their action.

The Sports Ministry: By making the other nationalities withdraw from the games, he has ensured that Indian athletes win Gold, Silver and Bronze in every event. We would hold a record in the medal’s tally by winning all the medals.
The Tourism Ministry: Our reasons are twofold. By creating all the debris around the road of Delhi, he had made the Delhites decide to move away during the period of the Games thus improving inland Tourism. But we are looking at long term gains here. Think, over a period of time the collapsed bridge, the dilapidated buildings will turn into major tourist attractions like the Colesseum in Rome, the Pompeii ruins or the Mayan ruins. In fact I foresee that the Games village will attract more tourists than the Taj over the years.
The Human Resources Development Ministry: Has he not shown us the maximum utilization of human resources by allotting 85 people to clean 1000 rooms?
The Agriculture Ministry: He has done yeoman service to the nation by increasing the agricultural land in the country by making the Delhi roads arable.
The Finance Ministry: No comments (rubbing hands in glee)
The Defence Ministry: We have not witnessed such defense as put up by the CWG team.(Our standards, their standards)
The Petroleum & Natural Gas Ministry: We have identified a good source of natural ‘gas’ in Kalmadi and team.
Health & Family Welfare Ministry: He has done a great service for his family’s welfare.
Overseas & Indian Affairs Ministry: He has spread India’s popularity worldwide which no amount of ad campaigns would ever hope to do. Besides, it is no small thing to do shady deals both in India and overseas alike.
Urban Development Ministry; Do you really want us to give the reason?
Labour & Employment Ministry: Look at the number of people he has given employment to and not to forget the retired judges who will be employed when they head the various enquiry commissions.
Commerce & Industry Ministry: This guy has vision I must say. See how he has turned sports into a lucrative commerce.
Road Transport & highways Ministry: Imagine how many people he had taken for a ride.
Home Affairs Ministry: Has he not deftly turned the Games his Home Affair? What else do you want?
Railways Ministry: Doesn’t he have more derailed projects than the Railways has derailed trains?
Steel Ministry: He did steal. Didn’t he?
Power Ministry: He has demonstrated clearly the misuse of Power and what it will do to you.
Law and Justice Ministry: We are selfish actually. We want to reciprocate for the publicity we are getting. More and more people are clamouring for Justice. It is I scratch your back; you scratch my back, you see.
Textiles Ministry: We want to honour him for giving us business. People say that he has denuded the whole of India in the eyes of the world.
Prime Minister’s Office: He has been able to divert people attention from other issues for some time.
The Games politicians play!
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15 Comments leave one →
  1. September 23, 2010 22:52

    Gosh! It would be funny if it weren't real!To top it all, he's more slippery than an eel!!!And more, could you imagine what a fine story it'd make on reel?The CWG, Games Kalmadi plays, for real!!!Govind, this is one of the best yet, on the SCAM of the Millenium of India. May some of these Games end, is all I have to say here!

  2. September 24, 2010 09:57

    Hilarious post. I applaud your imagination in creating the various awards. Depressing to know how true all this is, but extremely funny read :)@Usha, have you too begun commenting in quatrains?? 😀

  3. September 24, 2010 20:04

    A fresh take to the Games… looks like the news reporters are not the only ones having a field day on the expense of the games. Bloggers too have joined the band wagon… 🙂

  4. September 25, 2010 17:32

    @ Usha, Thanks a ton@ Shail, Thanks for sharing this post. and I think Usha is afflicted by the swine….errr flu. 🙂 🙂 :)@Paritosh, thanks buddy.

    • October 3, 2010 13:41

      Hey this is rather fine! I did not notice the WordPress link at the first read 🙂 Nice to see this blog hosted here as well!
      I had a good laugh at the ….errr… flu part!

      • October 10, 2010 18:42

        I am honoured. You are the first to comment on WP. The rest of the comments were imported. 🙂

  5. September 25, 2010 22:35

    >You left out the award for us, the common man (including you and me), who will sit and point fingers but will do nothing about the state of affairs. After all democrazy..er…. democracy is Of the people, For the people, By the people….:):)

  6. September 26, 2010 13:46

    >In fact it you who should be nominated for the highest award for this post.

  7. September 28, 2010 07:01

    >@ Shivaja, Welcome to Saturday Musings. You are right. The award will go the greatest suckers… us.@ BK Chowla Thank you sir.

  8. October 1, 2010 21:58

    >And my award goes to Govind for his imaginative interpretation of the Awards Ceremony!Gaurav

  9. October 7, 2010 02:43

    >Excellent!! Esp this line ' Games village will attract more tourists than the Taj ' – this was a very good satire! Well written, PRG.

  10. October 8, 2010 15:22

    >@ Babuman, Thanks a lot@ Pallu, Nandri, Konjam adikadi varrathu…

  11. PNA permalink
    October 20, 2010 11:56

    Echo Usha’s first line…
    One never knows what happens in India, and Kalmadi may actually be awarded the highest civilian honour…

    Trust you to come up with this.. 🙂 And what a forecast, we actually ended up with an record medal haul. Reminded of Malayalam Manorama news MJ quoted, a Malayalee had a chance to win the gold as her opponents had withdrawn..

    yayaya, second comment on WP. So this is a what we call a blog move 😛

    cya

    • October 23, 2010 09:35

      Thank you Ashes. I had this site much before I started on blogspot. So it is actually coming back for me.

      • PNA permalink
        October 24, 2010 11:25

        really ! 🙄

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