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August 15, 2010

This post was selected as Blogadda’s Tangy Tuesday pick (Thanks to Dreamer)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           A Turbaned Old Man (TOM) and a young man from his office, a Junior Entrant Representing the Ruthless (Reckless) Youth (JERRY) were pacing up and down the room. TOM was visibly nervous and every now and then slumps into the sofa wringing his hand.

JERRY: Relax dude, you can do it. In fact you have done it so many times.
TOM: I know, I know, but every time it feels like it is the first time. I don’t know what to say this time
JERRY: Let us start with the positives. Your achievement! You are the third longest serving PM in terms of number of days in office. We could definitely highlight that. Or better still, let us talk about the number of days you have not spoken while in office. That will take you right up to the top. It will be a record no one can dream to emulate given your competitors’ penchant for speaking non stop.
TOM: No,no, we can’t. They call me a puppet and you know that the puppet remains in the same place till somebody shifts it. Besides Barka, Rajdeep & Co have been hollering from their channels urging me to speak up.
JERRY: Okay, then let’s talk about Kashmir and your magnanimous offer of autonomy….
TOM: Are you crazy? There will be more blood shed. Mine…..besides they have already taken their autonomy preferring to celebrate their Independence Day on 14th and closing the valley on the 15th. How I wish I was there and not here! Then I need not go out on the 15th.
JERRY: Cool man, cool. Let us then showcase our economy, agriculture……..
TOM: Seriously Jerry, You should do your homework, any talk of economy will automatically lead to inflation. Whatever jargon we use like single digit, double digit, positive , negative, people still say they feel the pinch. Frankly I don’t know what the fuss is all about. My wife never complains of price rise. And if I talk about agriculture, these TV channels will show food rotting in the godowns.
JERRY: In that case we will trumpet the prestige of holding the Commom Wealth Games.
TOM: Are you playng games with me? I have stopped watching TV for the fear of new skeletons tumbling out of the cup boards. But my colleagues who are enjoying their moments of glory in the TV studios and impromptu interviews tell me that Suresh has been going around telling everybody that he is ready to sacrifice his LIFE for his COUNTRY.
JERRY: No boss, I think he is being misquoted as usual. What he must have meant was that he is ready to sacrifice his COUNTRY for the sake of his LIFE. Anyways, how about taking credit for the super bug being named after our Capital? This surely is an admission by the West that we are emerging as a Super Power.
TOM: We could, but the Ministry of Health and the medical fraternity is opposing it tooth and nail. My own council of Ministers are against me denying me this simple pleasure. Jerry, we are running out of time. Please do something
JERRY: No sweat man, I will hustle up something man. I don’t think anybody gives a damn oops sorry, about what you will be speaking. There will be loads of school children and security personnel who will out number the children. The children will want this to end, so that they can go and enjoy their holiday and for the security it is another day in office. Moreover you will standing behind a bullet proof glass and no one can even hurl a shoe if they wanted to.
TOM: Don’t rub it in. Get me something fast.
An hour later JERRY comes in and hands TOM some sheets of paper.
TOM: Thanks man.
He starts reading “ Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny…….
TOM: Hey wait….. Isn’t this Panditji speech on August 15th 1947.
JERRY: Right man, you are fast. Who will remember it anyway, considering aam aadmi’s short memory? And one more thing it is still relevant. A tribute to speech writers like us. We make our speeches timeless, so that it can be used anywhere and any time
TOM faints.
Happy Independence Day! Proud to be an Indian. Aren’t we a resilient lot?
P.S. This was supposed to be posted a couple of days earlier. Shall I just say I just got my freedom now?
16 Comments leave one →
  1. August 15, 2010 19:04

    If it weren't seriously ironicIt would be seriously explosively bionic!In terms of laughter of course, symphionic!Alas, the state of affairs, platonic!Just today, on one of the news channels, of which Barkha, Rajdeep and Co prevail was a sound byte from Rudy of BJP 🙂 Rude of course. He said that the PM's speech was a rehash of last years. Perhaps he was right. Reading today's centre page on the New Indian Express on the Mumbler, who lost his stammer, and yet can never be an orator, makes this post a stand out one for me. I actually expect someone to come out with the Tryst With Destiny speech one of these days, preying upon fragile memories and indifferent attitudes!Now, let me laugh 🙂

  2. August 16, 2010 11:09

    Could not stop laughing. You've described exactly the state of the nation and added generous doses of ironic humor 😀 Manmohan Singh as TOM? ROFL 😀

  3. August 16, 2010 11:27

    Don't know whether to laugh or cry. But its written excellently!

  4. August 17, 2010 15:30

    This is the best spoof I have read in the recent past. I suggest you take up journalism seriously.The turbaned TOM is one of India's intelligent sons. It is unfortunate that he is just a puppet now.

  5. August 18, 2010 22:45

    Congrats on the Blogadda Tangy Tuesday pick!

  6. August 20, 2010 10:05

    TOM gets the pride of place as "The Leader Other Leaders Love (LOLL)according to Nesweek magazine.But India figures way down at a lowly 78th in the list of countries.Gaurav

  7. August 28, 2010 17:56

    Due to some technical glitch i was unable to respond to your comments. My apologies.@ Usha, Me too.That too in the near future@ Dreamer, thanks for everything :)@ Anonymous, I take that you are not reading much these days! :)@Babuman, maybe the leaders are envious how he is able to get away from everything without uttering a word.

  8. August 28, 2010 22:44

    Congratulations for getting accolades! Gaurav

  9. September 4, 2010 13:31

    I echo Shail's thoughts..dont know whether to laugh or cry at the perfect depiction of the sorry state of our nation! Glad to have stumbled upon your page..looking forward to reading more of such eye-opener posts 🙂

  10. September 5, 2010 08:56

    @ Shail, Thanks, I thought it was not so bad as to make you cry.@Babuman Thanks@Deeps, Thanks for visiting.

  11. September 5, 2010 13:16

    This is my first visit here.Very interesting.Will return.

  12. September 7, 2010 07:24

    @ BK Chowla, Thank you sir.

  13. September 7, 2010 12:21

    had me in splits really !!! but doesn't take away the reality of situations facing us today. How does it help us if TOM is seen as the leader other leaders love. Just an image or front is not enough. As PM he should and can use his powers and authority to effect change in many situations. By choosing not to he is absolving himself of consequences which makes him an ineffective PM who doesn't deserve the power and authority vested in him. It is difficult to change things overnight agreed but for change to be felt there has to be a beginning however small.

  14. September 8, 2010 08:54

    @ Priya thanks.Politics… You remember Rajiv Gandhi,how refreshing he was when he came to power and what they did to him after that. Actually I will blame the 'babudom'.For the power they hold they don't own any responsibilities.

  15. October 15, 2011 14:24

    @ govind Sir,

    You have overlooked 2G in this blog. How come? When you can forget to mention something on the most happening thing as on today, I can bet all these things will be dead and buried in another one year and Tihar will become empty soon.

    @ Yeah I missed out on 2G in this post. I think it was the height of CWG scam 🙂

  16. December 26, 2016 19:06

    JERRY: No boss, I think he is being misquoted as usual. What he must have meant was that he is ready to sacrifice his COUNTRY for the sake of his LIFE…..hmmm….All politicians are ‘ore kuttaiyile oorina mattaigal’, Whether it is BJP or Congress or anyother party members . Just selfish …

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