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Falling in love…. Again

February 13, 2009
I am in love. So overwhelming in love, I don’t know what to do. I debated for 2 to 3 days on if I should go public with my feelings. What will be the consequences? What about the embarrassment? How would my family react? Would I be able to cope with it? Finally the heart won and I decided to follow what my heart said. What else could I have done? I needed someone to talk to. I couldn’t talk to my sons, who are already in their teens and still grappling with their own sexuality. I couldn’t talk to my wife either, she doesn’t seem to have the time, getting up at the crack of dawn, making tea for my son who has classes at 5 in the morning, then busy preparing breakfast and lunch for me and my sons. By the time I come back from office she is so tired, that she is ready to hit the sack. I don’t feel like disturbing her then. Sundays would go with the entire family and visiting friends. These matters cannot be spoken over the phone. Besides I don’t have an idea of how she would take it. I cannot talk to my friends or colleagues because I am scared of what they might think of me. That leaves only my mother and these are not things that you discuss with your mother especially when you are in the wrong side of forty. So, what better way than putting it on paper?
She is well past her prime and aging gracefully at that. Like wine, she seems to be getting better with age. From my room I can watch her, without she being aware of it, as she goes about her chores in her house; managing her children so well with a mixture of ‘carrot’ and ‘stick’. I understand that she was working before her marriage and had to give up, sacrifice I would say, her job for the sake of her husband and then the children. I am sure she would have it made it big if she had continued on with her career, what with her skills. Watching her, you would not detect even an iota of regret for the decision she had made or was made for her, years ago. Her beauty enthralls me, not in the physical sense though and she has got a lovely voice as sometimes you can catch snatches of her singing, when she is caught off guard.She has a good sense of humour and can be nasty when she is angry,but to me she is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.
I am spiraling down a bottomless pit and I need to do something about before it gets out of hand. She knows that I blog and I hope she reads this and understands that I think of her all the time. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is already aware of my feelings for her.I would have asked her to marry me but for the fact that she is already married. To me.

Happy Valentine’s Day

10 Comments leave one →
  1. shail permalink
    February 14, 2009 15:18

    Wow PRG what a post!! I am left speechless. I hope your valentine has read this by now.By the way, you talk about kissing and the spread of meningitis. Look what I had been reading just before I moved to your page:, your writing style rocks!

  2. PRG permalink
    February 16, 2009 09:17

    Thanks Shail. Yeah she read and it was a perfect V-day gift for her.

  3. Anonymous permalink
    February 17, 2009 15:03

    Very predictable ending! For a change you should have taken your valentine either to Karnataka or Orissa where Bajrangdal is very active on the 14th. They would have forcibly got you married once again and you could have gone for a second honeymoon. Try it next year.

  4. PRG permalink
    February 17, 2009 21:37

    PC,Yeah that’s a good idea but didn’t have the money. Maybe next year

  5. Vijay permalink
    March 2, 2009 22:36

    Way to go!!! Glad that the romantic in you is still alive and kicking …. who would have thought …. 🙂Glad that she read it too… me looking forward to the revised menu in the next few luncheons!!!

  6. February 16, 2011 23:33

    🙂 Loved this! Though I got here a couple of years late! There is this absolute timelessness to your post, and the writing style, as always, rocks!

  7. February 17, 2011 20:51

    Thanks a lot Usha. You make me blush with your kind words, 🙂

  8. February 14, 2012 07:55

    Reblogged this on Saturday Musings and commented:

    This is a re-blog of my post for Valentine’s Day in 2009.

  9. March 18, 2012 18:42

    Awww…loved this! 🙂 Lucky, she sure is! 🙂

    • March 20, 2012 09:42

      Thank you Sashu for your visit and comment. I am honoured 🙂

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